Most men ... can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it obligates them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleagues, which they have proudly taught others, and which they have woven thread by thread into the fabric of their lives." - Tolstoy

Baby Update

Well, I'm all packed...baby's things, my things and the birth supplies are all ready to go for when this baby finally decides to show up. I had my 37 week prenatal yesterday, and we got to hear a good strong heartbeat (about 135 bpm), the baby has wiggled back into an ROA position (on my right side, head down, facing in - yay!), and all systems go from here. The baby is way, way, way down low, which is a bit unusual for a 4th pregnancy. Babies don't normally drop before labour, but normal isn't really my forté. Obviously, this one must feel a need to get ready ahead of time. I'm hoping it means a shorter labour and less pushing for this time.

So now we wait.

Growing Your World

Have you ever written a bucket list? It's a list of things you want to accomplish or experience before you die (kick the bucket). Flashback to a Monty Python movie scene. I've written so many of those lists, and sadly, never kept any of them. I'd like to be able to look back at what my 14 year old self thought was important and compare it to my 28 year old self's priorities.

I remember a few of my items - get a tattoo, sky dive, make over $20/hr, have a family, get published, live in every province of Canada and at least one foreign country (changed to visit instead of live), be in a movie...I've done all but one of those.

I'm full of dreams. Always have been. My mind really doesn't shut off much, and I am constantly planning.

I wonder, though. I understand that these are MY things. Not everyone wants to travel. Not everyone cares if they skydive. But shouldn't everyone want *something*? Shouldn't dreaming be part of everybody's life?

My biggest fear is that I will become one of those people who are predictable. One of those people who get up, have cereal and toast, go to work, come home, have supper, watch TV, go to bed and start all over again in the morning. Okay, the TV shows might change from day to day. Supper is a rotation of the same 6-7 meals. When people come to visit, they find them sitting in the same chair as every other time they've visited. The conversations and stories are all the same as last time.

I couldn't imagine my life being that small.

I wonder why people live like that...fear? Apathy? Lack of energy? No money?

I don't buy it.

I love my life to be fresh. I want to be amazed. I want to learn new things. I want to see all that this world has to offer.

It doesn't have to cost a lot of money, or use up lots of energy. It's as simple as putting all your change into a pickle jar and, once full, counting it out and using it's entirety to play tourist in your own province. It's as simple as paying $2 for a city bus ticket and riding the bus it's entire route, just to see what's at the end of the line (don't worry, you can't get lost since they always make a loop). It's buying paint and a canvas at the dollar store, blasting your stereo and painting what you hear coming from the speakers. It's keeping the kids up 'til dusk to catch lightening bugs. It's walking down the ethnic food aisle and buying a packet of Indian food spice mix and following the instructions. It's driving a different route home, just to discover a new neighbourhood. It's speaking to the person in front of you in line at the grocery store. It's going for a dip in the river in your underwear because no one is around and the kids will always remember that 10 minutes.

It's about getting over yourself. It's about discovering yourself. It's about discovering your world, and making it big again.

Today's Smile

Eva: Mommy, how do you say "fork" in french?

Me: Fork is "fourchette".

Eva: And in spanish it's "dingelhopper"?

Being Still

It was early morning. Graedon and I were at the table and the girls were sleeping in, tired from a late night of visiting with Grammy and Grampy. It had snowed during the night, and the first rays of the sun were peeking through the curtains. Thoughts flitted through my mind, and I remembered an article (several, actually) about encouraging your child's speech and language development and raising his IQ by talking to him at all times about anything and everything. I thought about it, trying to figure out how to start a conversation about toast, blueberry jam, coffee, sunrises, my kitchen decor...but I said nothing.

Instead, I watched my son. I took in the way he used his spoon, brow furrowed in concentration as he very carefully brought his cereal to his mouth without dropping a single flake. I enjoyed the way he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. I loved his gaze out the window at the world waking up on the front lawn. I smiled at how his face brightened every time a vehicle went by on the road (especially the big trucks!). We sat in silence and enoyed each other's company.

It is important to speak to your children, but it's also important to respect their moods and encourage their individual thinking. Personally, I don't like conversation at breakfast. I like quiet. I wake up slowly. I am often mulling over my night's dreams, and the expectations I have of the day. I don't want to assume that my children want to listen to my bantering constantly. With quiet comes the opportunity to meditate - something we don't take the time to do nearly enough.

Sometimes, it's good to be still.

The Latest

You turn your back for TWO seconds, and the whole place falls apart. He's such a boy.


I think it's Love....sigh...


The snow was too deep for Graedon to play in, so we brought it inside.

A Crazy Week!

I shouldn't be at the computer right now, but I need the 15 minutes of decompression...

This is the mother of all weeks. It seems like every minute is accounted for, and I am dreading most of my activities. The funny thing is, I love all the things I must do this week, but because of the stress of such a full-tilt, barge ahead week, I'm not feeling the Love! When I am rushed like this, I feel my shoulders hunch, my back get tight, my jaw clench...you get the picture.

As crowded as it is - here is a list of things I'm excited for that are happening this week:

1) I ordered Birth Reborn by Michel Odent on Ebay. This was the last of the required reading list for Newlife. It should be in on Thursday. I've heard awesome reviews for this book.

2) Friday night Dr. Jack Newman is coming to town!!! He's what I would call a Breastfeeding Guru, and he's coming to my little town! Yay! It should be extremely informative, and I'm so happy!

3) I'm waiting to hear whether or not I am getting a client for January. She's a VBAC, so it's very near and dear to my heart. Fingers crossed!

4) Saturday night we're going to an appetizer party at our friends' home. They are such warm, hospitable people. It's always a good time!

5) The girls are sleeping over at their cousins' Saturday. That means sleeping in for us on Sunday! I can't remember the last time that happened...

I know, this isn't huge news. It's probably not all that interesting to anybody other than me, but that's what life is, right? Just a bunch of little things that make us happy.