Saturday, June 20, 2009

African Birth Collective Update #3

I feel like crap. Not physically (although this nagging summer cold is the pits). I got semi-accepted for the African Birth Collective trip in February and...I turned it down. I e-mailed the director with my decline, and now I feel a curious mix of relief, disappointment and "que sera sera". Here's an excerpt from the e-mail I sent her:

"I've given a lot of thought to the African Birth Collective trip, and the interview with Kristi gave me a lot of insight. My husband and I have thought and prayed about it, and I am sad to say that I believe it would be best for me to pass.

This trip would be amazing, and such an educational experience for me, but with my level of experience, I do not think that I would be the right kind of help for you. I think it would be better for everyone if I gain more experience before participating in such an intense program.

Please accept my sincere apologies for having to turn down the trip. I'd like to apply again in a few years when my comfort level and experience can help me be a better help to you and the team."

So, there you have it. I just couldn't shake the little nagging feeling in the back of my mind saying that this wasn't right for me. Although it is still a trip I'd like to take, I know that the timing isn't quite right given my level of experience.

When we talked about it, my mom said that I was still very young and had plenty of time to get to the level I need. Frankly, some days I feel like a dinosaur.

I have another trip up my sleeve, but I won't write about it yet. Perhaps that one will work out?


cuddles said...

Hey Emilie,
I'm sorry this didn't work out for you. Hopefully the other trip you have on your mind, or a future one, will be the fit you're looking for. I think this is definitely one of those big decisions where you really do need to follow your gut... or in this case the little nagging feeling in the back of your mind.
I feel that the fact you even want to do something like this is very admirable, and that when the right opportunity comes along, you'll know it. xo

Emilie said...

Much love, Cuddles :) Thanks!