Monday, January 9, 2012

I Resolve...

Resolutions are those promises you make to yourself that, somehow, always get broken.  It's like they're meant not to last.  So, in that spirit, here are my resolutions for 2012:

*Get extraordinarily fat. 

*Amass a ridiculous amount of debt.

*Live for myself and myself only.  The kids can fend for themselves.

*Revel in the joys of a dirty home.  The crud on the toilet will surely boost our immune systems.  I mean, MY immune system.  After all, I'm living for myself, now.

*Gossip.  Viciously. 

*Stay up 'til the wee hours and sleep in 'til noon.

What are your non-resolutions? 


Abigail said...


cuddles said...

If this were FB, I'd LIKE this! :) Awesome! My resolution is to be a horrible mother and partner. ;o) Hehehe !!