I don't want to blog today, and in fact, I haven't wanted to for the last month or so. I do feel some sort of responsibility to update, since this is a way for my family and friends to see what our family is up to, how the kids are growing, and what's new with us Pattersons.
I haven't wanted to update my Facebook profile, either. A few weeks ago I deleted most of my profile and blocked most of my information. I felt a very important need to make my life and thoughts private. It's not so much that I don't want to share what is going on with me. Rather, it's that I was told that when I post articles about natural birth, breastfeeding or question the status-quo regarding parenting, spirituality, the medical system, school system, (read: anything that is important to me and that I deal with on a daily basis), that I am judgemental and make others feel badly with my guilt-trips. Okay.
So, my Facebook page is not my own. I am now responsible for what links my friends decide to follow. I must protect their minds from my beliefs and make them feel good by ignoring my own beliefs and interests. I am everybody's mother.
And so it is with life. We're encouraged to participate in the whole "Freedom of speech" movement, but only if it doesn't step on any toes, only if it is politically correct, and only so long as our audience is kept happy and carefree. Strong opinions? Keep them to yourself. Questions that rock the boat? Shut up. Truth in statistics and research? Obviously bogus that I found on some Earth Mama blog.
Remember the scene in The Incredibles when the mom tells the boy (Flash? Dash?), "Everybody's special." and he says, "Yeah, that's just another way of saying no one is." That's how I feel about thoughts lately. Everyone is allowed their own opinions, but no one is obliged to agree, listen or even care. It's all "well, that might be true for you, but not for me". No one has truth anymore. If you don't want to believe something, even if it's straight from the Gospel, then all you have to do is squeeze your eyes tight, and wish it away and say, "No! I don't want to believe that! It's not true! I want something easier, something that makes me feel good about me!" and POOF! Done deal. You can have your truth.
And truth means nothing.
Later, when we look around for our answers, we'll find that we're floating around in a sea of wishes, pipe-dreams and feel-good moments that have no substance. It will have felt good then, but it will mean nothing.
So, Facebook is gone. I comment once in a while on how cute a new baby is, or I might use the instant messaging or chat. I am not going to share my opinions or post articles (even the really great ones). I want to be able to talk and share and be honest. Hopefully this blog is okay for that. After all, if you don't like it, relief is just a click of a little red X away.