I think this is a passage worth thinking over. It's from Whole Child/Whole Parent, by Polly Berrien Berends (which I have not read, but wouldn't mind taking a look-see);
. . . It is written into the very nature of the oat, pea, bean, and barley to grow into fruitful plants. Nobody questions whether they want to do this, or can. So why do we doubt our children? When the farmer sows a nice, round, healthy oat and it doesn't grow well, he doesn't say, "What's the matter with the oat? It must be lazy or sick or emotionally disturbed in some way." He assumes that something is wrong with the environment in which that oat is trying to grow. Then he sets about trying to perceive what is needed."